My Journey Part 1

My Journey Part 1

Here is a little bit about the journey I’ve been on with my health…

In November of 2011, when I was just a few months shy of turning 18, I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out.
I thought that I would get these suckers taken out and continue on with my life…after all this surgery is just a routine procedure, is it not? Most everyone gets these teeth removed, don’t they?
Little did I know the path I was setting myself on…

After the surgery I awoke to the doctor’s voice saying to his assistant that I looked pale and should be watched over a bit. Strange because I was completely aware of my surroundings and ready to get up and go…so the assistant helped me to my mom’s car. I went home, put ice on my jaws, changed the bloodied gauze in my mouth, and took the pain meds I was given.

A week or so after the procedure I was not improving and I had begun to have a pain in my lower left jaw and swelling that hadn’t gone down yet. My oral surgeon was out of town at a conference and his partner was busy so I had to go to a completely different person.
This new surgeon began pushing on my jaw and believed that it wasn’t a dry socket (which is a throbbing pain-my pain was deeper in the jaw), but she believed it maybe an infection in my jaw. So she gave me some oral antibiotics. I began taking these meds and got REALLY sick on them…so what do you think I did? I stopped them. Then I went to my oral surgeon’s partner (who was now available). She told me that I had dry socket and was going to treat it as so (which the other surgeon said would make the infection worse and could spread it throughout my body). We told the partner about what the other surgeon had said but she wouldn’t listen and pushed us to do the dry socket. Well, since doctors “know best” when it comes to our bodies (said in a sarcastic tone), I went ahead and got the dry socket treatment. *Cue dramatic music* Duh DUH DUHHHH….
I proceeded to get worse…the pain in my left jaw began to radiate down my neck, arm, and just about my whole left side! My spleen also grew three sizes too big (kinda like the Grinch’s heart…but not as pleasant). This is not all the “awesomeness” that happened to my body! I became EXTREMELY fatigued/weak, and had horrible brain fog.
At this point in my journey, I wanted to know what the heck was happening to me! I began going to the doctor on a regular basis and tried to find out what was going wrong in my body…
Test after test after test, doctor after doctor…I found out that I had MONONUCLEOSIS at the time of my wisdom teeth extractions! Who knew? I guess that having mono was pretty dangerous at the time of my surgery due to the fact that a person is supposed to be very healthy before having a procedure done. Also it was the mono that caused my spleen to swell (not cool).
So I tried resting my body as my GP recommended, but I was feeling worse as days turned in to weeks and the weeks into months. I kept going to him because I wasn’t getting any better, but he had no answers and rolled his eyes when he saw me walking in his office…I wanted to cry for I did not want to be a burden to anyone including my doctor.
He eventually told me that there was NOTHING that he could do for me. I was devastated. I stopped going to the doctor and tried to push on with my life…after-all I was a senior in high school and wanted to do all the activities my fellow graduates were participating in. Little did everyone know that I felt like I was going to collapse at any moment…

I will continue to tell more of my journey in my next post.

Dream a Little Dream Two

Dream a Little Dream Two

Now this dream is different than the last one I had, but there is a connection just the same…it may seem strange and odd but God translated it before my eyes and contrasted it with the former.

Dream Two:
I dreamt that I was in the corner of a building with a wild party raging about. I felt out-of-place for I was not giving into the lusts of the world as before–I had changed. Though the people were praising all that was evil. I looked at them with pity and understanding for I had once been tempted as they were (in my dream).
Then I saw him. This man was laughing with a large group. They hung around him like he was their drug. He encouraged them in their sinning…
I wanted to sneak out before this man saw me, but his eyes landed on me, and he followed me outside. I ran into my home and shut the door.
I thought I was safe, but suddenly the door of my house was thrown open and there he was…This man looked at me as if he owned me. His eyes peered at me as if I were an open book that he had read several times.
The sad thing about having your life written down as a book is that you can go back and reread and relive the mistakes you had once made (or you can learn from your wrongdoings). I felt naked and dirty in his presence. I wanted to tell him to get out, but I had no voice!
In this dream, I must say, I did not look like myself. I had blond hair and my face was completely different (I could easily change how I looked on the outside).
The man forcibly questioned, “Where are the children?!”
I began to remember my past (my dream past not my real-life past) and how a temptation can give birth unto sin. The children signify the innocence of temptation. In my dream, I had gotten rid of the children and changed my life. A temptation may seem innocent like a child at first but gives birth unto a greater evil…sin.

Then I awoke.

Have you guessed who the man was? Satan. He gives us what our physical bodies desire but he doesn’t care about who we are and what becomes of us. As long as we do not get in the way of his plans…

What a contrast to my previous dream about Jesus! The Son of God knocked on the front door and was offering me new life. When I didn’t answer, He went to the back door and knocked. How different it was when Satan barged into the house and made me remember the sins of my past!

In this dream, I did not look like myself for I had tried to change what I looked like on the outside. Satan often tries to dissuade us from letting Jesus in and letting Him change us from the inside-out.
The Enemy wants us to think we have to change ourselves in order to be worthy for God…but here Jesus is, waiting outside the door of our hearts and offers us new life.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” Revelation 3:20

“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” Romans 13:14

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves.” Colossians 1:13

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

“For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit.” 1 Peter 3:18

“Dream a Little Dream”

“Dream a Little Dream”

Do you remember the strange dreams that come at night? The real crazy ones that are sometimes the hardest to remember by morning?
Well, I cannot forget the two that I’ve had in the span of 7 months…

Dream One:

I was in my house when someone was knocking at the front door. I did not answer it for I was too overwhelmed. Why? Because I was filled with such a peace that I had never known before. I had no doubts, worries of life, and no fear but that of a kind that God can only instill.
The man had a beard and shoulder-length brown hair. He had piercing eyes that saw me through the walls of the house and into my room where I was huddled in a corner.
Since I did not answer the front door, the man headed to the back door and knocked again. Sadly, I was still frozen with the powerful feelings inside me. Oh, and what feelings they were! I have had a taste of this peace at the times when I have been on the mountain of life with God (where everything is clear and trusting The Lord comes with ease). Though, this peace was 1,000 times more intense. I look forward to having this feeling again in heaven. ☺️
Have you guessed who this man is? Yes, it is Jesus. 🙂 Though, He was not alone… Jesus had a full-grown horse and a colt. Yes, the older horse looked sturdy and reliable with saddle and reigns (my old life), but the colt was young and free (which represents a new life). Jesus was offering me new life.

But then I woke up.

My thoughts crashed into each other when I awoke from this glorious dream. God translated what the objects meant but not what it was supposed to mean to me. I was frustrated at my “dream-self” for not answering the front door or, at least, the back door! After thanking God for the experience, I demanded an answer from Him for what I saw! Was I not following God in the new life that He has given me?! Did the colt represent a new life being physically healed from my ailments? I did not know…and I did not get my answer until I had a different dream around 7 months later…..WHICH I will talk about in my next blog post.

God picks out different teachings to speak to me every time that I write or tell the story of my dream. So I may update my posts or write new ones talking about diverse revelations that He gives me.

Here are song lyrics from “Mercy Me” that fit how I felt in my dream:

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?

Will I stand in Your presence
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing, Hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine